Canadian Personal Finance Blog

The story continues. Just as an epilogue to part 1, my friend usually ate lunch at work because his wife made him lunch (and she did that to be FRUGAL and to make sure he eats properly).

So my friend went on a “toot” and bought lunches out the week his wife was away (not a serious sin, but the story gets better).

I found out from a source my friend’s wife’s side of this story, and it was a bit of a mind blower. My friend’s wife evidently either knew or guessed that my friend was going out for lunches while she was away, and in response she was going to go out to some expensive furniture stores to get some furniture. I am not positive this is a direct reaction to the “going out for lunch” but it was a contributing factor. Now my friend has previously told his wife to stop buying furniture, so his wife KNEW that this would bother my friend (i.e. this was a calculated act).

So, now you have two grown people who are doing financially silly things, because their partner isn’t doing what they should do. I don’t know, but the first time I heard this I thought, “How childish is that?”, but then I realized that I know I am guilty of the same thinking with my wife, so I should be careful of the “glass house syndrome”.

Conclusions: Talk with your partner about money, and the things that you want to do to save money and such. You may not get agreement across the board, but be adult enough to tell your partner what you are doing, and don’t end up in the following argument:

Partner 1: I just bought a new big screen TV, isn’t it great?
Partner 2: WHAT?!??! How could you do that, we never discussed that? Where did you find the money?
Partner 1: Well you got to buy that new dress so I thought it was only fair…
{At this point the argument would degrade into hellishly childish discussions, I can assure you}

Plan together, and work together and life will be a lot more enjoyable –C8j

It’s always fun to go out and talk with friends about life and things, but it seems more and more I am intrigued by the “financial fisticuffs” that goes on in some relationships (most relationships actually, but I digress).

I was talking to a friend, and he had mentioned to me that his wife was out of town with the kids and that because of that he was taking advantage and going out for lunch during the week. Now on the surface, that doesn’t sound too bad (these folks are doing well financially, so he is not creating any kind of hardship doing this, and it is not like he was saying, “I am dropping by the strip club every night”) but after I had a chance to think about it I had time to think that this kind of behavior is still perilous in a relationship (any kind, marriage, business, whatever).

This kind of secrecy is a slippery slope to take, especially with money (but in general as well). If you do something, which you know might upset your spouse or partner, so you don’t tell them about it while in many occasions is prudent, nobody likes to “argy bargy” about things, it may be a symptom of a larger problem.

Money is one of those things that can destroy all parts of any relationship. Normal rational humans can become completely unglued and do the strangest out of character things, all in the name of money, keeping it, or spending it (or worse still in reaction to what someone else is doing with money).

If you feel you have to hide how you are spending your money from your partner, you really must ask yourself “Why am I doing this?”. Maybe you need to talk to your partner frankly about this behavior, because you might be surprised to find out what your partner thinks.

We leave this posting for now, but I will continue it in a day or so with the next step in this kind of “monetary trickery”, and more to the story I am telling. –C8j

Well if you ask the carpet salesman from a large chain store that is what he “threatened” me with when he came by to show me carpet for my basement. No this rant isn’t about oil prices, it’s about salesman, who should think about choosing another profession.

Now I know why I did not go into sales, and I also know some good salesmen, and this carpet guy would not be counted in that list. He wanted to be “RIGHT” all the time (and I think that is the first and biggest mistake any salesman can make): first he tells my wife that she asked him to bring light carpet samples only (we have a black lab and a black cat and 4 kids, I don’t think she asked for that), then he said she never mentioned “mono-filament” carpets (which I know she did), and finally he basically told me that he couldn’t discount any prices, so don’t ask. My conclusion was that this guy didn’t want a sale at all (ok, I don’t know that, but I can assure you that is what is going to happen). As a salesman you shouldn’t allow customers to have a wrong impression of your product, but blatantly telling them they are WRONG will usually never make a sale.

We went to Home Depot to talk to them, and it was much better, and they had a much better price too. I think we’ll try to talk to one more place (there is a new store around our house that sells carpet), and then make our decision. Home Depot also pointed out a few things, but in a nice manner that we should think about (i.e. nice: not confronting us saying, “You know you haven’t thought of this…!”)

Conclusions: Never feel pressured by a salesman, if you do walk away or ask for a different one. If a salesman makes you feel dumb, walk away, it’s not his or her job to do that. If your salesman doesn’t answer ALL your questions, RUN AWAY QUICKLY.

Remember it is YOUR money you are spending, and there are always other options.