Don’t Be Afraid to Live With Your Parents

… if you are under the age of 18. If you are older than 18, why are you still living with your parents, better still, why do you want to move back in with your parents ?

I grow weary reading these self-help articles for new grads (or worse 30 year olds who have dugg too deep a debt hole or young couples trying to “build up a nest-egg”) suggesting that your parents would love to open up their house to their adult children.  We are talking about children who have lived away from home (for a while) that are now moving back home, to live with their parents, who have also enjoyed an empty nest (most likely). (I am not speaking of kids who need to stay with their parents due to disabilities or other issues similar to that, I am not that much of an Ogre).

Question: Do you want your parents to move in with you after their “nest egg” ends up exhausted because they had to support you between the ages of 25 and 30 ? Think about it, turn about is fair play in this world, especially when it comes to you invading your parents Golden Years.

This sounds like a rather parsimonious opinion, but when did it become a badge of courage to live with your parents? I must admit, that I am a hypocrite on this matter, as I lived with my parents during most of my work terms, when I was a co-op students, however, once I graduated, I did not move back home. This did not mean I did not want to live at home, but, I also knew my parents had done their job with me. They had made sure I had a degree and they had taught me all they could, and yes, they have helped me in life financially, but I have not moved back in with them.

Moving Back Home

A Badge for Those Contemplating Moving Back Home

When I was younger, kids wanted to move away from home, and be an adult, when did staying a kid become a status symbol?

I suppose if you are in dire straights, and this is your only option, your parents will want to help however, here are a few helpful hints and tips if you are planning on moving back in with your parents:

  • You may have grown up in your parents house, but it is no longer your home, you are now a lodger, treat this house accordingly.
  • Pay rent (if you can), and pay board if your parents are feeding you, allowing you to use their utilities, and giving you a space to live in.
  • Show your parents you are “saving” or “getting out of debt”, give them a feeling that you are trying to help yourself, you are not simply giving up. Your parents want to support you, and they will be happy to hear of your progress.
  • If you have a car, get rid of it (and no that doesn’t mean you can borrow your parents car). If you can afford to have a car, you can afford not to live with your parents. Worse don’t ask your parents to support your “car habit”.
  • Respect your parents privacy. Make sure you allocate time to NOT to be in your parents house. Your parents will thank you for it.

Big Cajun Man Lemma of Baby Boom Retirement

Kippers will be the death of the baby boom generation.


{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Money Beagle September 17, 2015, 1:22 PM

    I think every situation is unique. I had a friend whose dad died, and he lived at home for over 10 years after he graduated, even though he could well afforded to go out on his own, because his mom really didn’t want to be alone and because they had a great relationship. I understand the broad points you’re making, but keep in mind that there are a lot of gray areas here.

    • bigcajunman September 17, 2015, 1:35 PM

      Absolutely. For folks who stay at home to help their family (by helping infirmed or financially strapped parents) good on you, this article is not about you. For the lazy, shiftless ones who “sowed their wild oats” and now need somewhere to recover, this is about you.


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