Reputable Tattoo Parlor ?

in Chutzpah, Humor

So in a conversation with a co-worker about a tattoo that she recently had done she made the statement that she went to a “… reputable tattoo parlor…”, which caused me to burst out laughing.  The expression just seemed so ludicrous, that I could not keep from laughing, because my opinion or mental image of a Tattoo Parlor, is most definitely not a place where you might use the word reputable in the description of the establishment. Before I get inundated with comments from the freshly inked generation, I simply point out that this is my opinion, and because of this, the expression Reputable Tattoo Parlor sounds like a complete contradiction in terms.

Here are some accepted contradictory financial services:

  • Pay Day Loans: this expression is completely contradictory since the least likely time anyone might need a loan would be on Pay Day. I do realize that the expression is actually describing a loan to “tide you over” until pay-day, but at first glance this expression is ludicrous (and of course the service itself is financially ludicrous too).
  • Unbiased Financial Opinions: I have seen more financial advisers include this in their resumes and service descriptions, but it’s not possible to have an Unbiased Opinion, the two terms contradict each other. Ask someone giving you advice if this is an unbiased opinion, if they say yes, get up and leave!
  • Exact Estimate of a possible debt: yes, I read this on-line with a lending group, they were attempting to say they were going to give you an estimated loan payment schedule, if you weren’t sure how much you were going to borrow, but it is still not possible to have an Exact Estimate. Don’t be fooled by a Firm Estimate from a service provider either.
  • Easy Payments: while this statement is not completely absurd at the outset, ask yourself are any payments you make easy? You couldn’t think of something better to do with that money?
  • Free Credit: Anyone want to argue about this one?
  • Extra Money: I never have extra money, I have the money that I have, and the money I have spent, extra, well that is a concept that is pretty foreign to me.
  • Easy Money: Aside from blogging, there is no such thing as easy money (see I am being obtuse in a shallow attempt to be humorous), no, there is no Easy Money in this lifetime.
  • Bankrupt Millionaire:  I always wonder about that one as well, how can you be both?

Say What?

And  the ultimate Oxymoron: Honest Politician . Any profession where:

  • You can talk about the concept of “truthiness”  (there are shades and levels to the truth?!?)
  • Claim you resigned, when you were voted out of office.

Really does stretch the concept of honesty to the limits.

Any other financial mal-statements that I missed?

{ 4 comments }

  • Bodynsoil May 5, 2011, 8:52 PM

    I have to admit I was a bit hesitant about reading the post, not that I am a fan of the ink, I am not, at least not on my body. I assumed it was a “calculated risk” and the thought of the read had me in a “cold sweat” then a “tense calm” fell over me.

    Nicolas described reputable tattoo parlor well, but I do see the root of your mirth.

    A little Oxymoronic humor for you ~

    “Last month I blew $5,000 on a reincarnation seminar. I figured, hey, you only live once.”
    Q: Randy Shakes

    Reply
  • Nicolas May 5, 2011, 5:53 PM

    Drew Cassels said: “Fine print”… that is hilarious!

    My “borrowed” contribution: Microsoft Works

    I think one should make the distinction between MP and party leader.

    As for the reputable tattoo parlor (I did raise an eyebrow at your reaction), it would refer to a place where safety standards are impeccable (risk of hepatitis) and tattooers are good enough not to mess up their work.

    Reply
    • bigcajunman May 5, 2011, 7:53 PM

      That was the explanation I got, which does make sense, but given may age, my experience with tattoo parlors makes it hard for me to imagine a “scrupulously clean” establishment.

      Reply
  • Drew Cassels May 5, 2011, 6:48 AM

    Get rich quick. Smart risk. Friendly bank. Fine print.

    LOL on the “unbiased opinion”. An opinion means that it’s biased.

    Reply

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