This is paraphrasing something from John Oliver, on his HBO show. Excel is Microsoft’s spreadsheet/swiss army knife tool (i.e. you can do anything with it), but I agree with Mr. Oliver, I have never seen good news delivered using excel.
During my career I have seen the following information sent to me in Excel format:
Ranking of employees, used to figure out who gets laid off
How much over-budget project is.
In defense of Excel, it is a magnificent tool in terms of accounting and complex arithmetic and such, and usually any good news that might come from an Excel S/S usually ends up being encapsulated into a Powerpoint presentation. If I receive only the data in an Excel S/S it is saying,
“… this is bad news, we don’t feel like “flowering it up” by putting it into a Word Document or a Powerpoint Presentation it is easier delivered using excel…”
I have seen this when folks discuss their finances, as soon as an Excel Spreadsheet is opened the level of tension goes up. Rarely does anyone bring up an Excel Spreadsheet up, with your budget on it, to show “… how well you are doing…”, it is to show where (precisely) you are failing.
That is a very odd title, but it did happen. My Brother had just moved into a new town-home complex, and there were a few idiosyncrasies that he found in his new place, but he didn’t notice this issue for a little while after moving in. He really only noticed one day when he sat down and noticed the warmth emanating from the commode, and only then realized that his toilet was connected to the hot water system for his house (not a huge issue, but it would waste a little money for a long time).
Financially Flushing Hot Water?
Are you flushing hot water in your financial world? How many fees are you paying that you are unaware of, or worse, are ignoring? What kind of fees am I commenting about?
Bank fees, do you still pay those? There are so many banks that offer zero fee accounts, why are you flushing that hot water (money) down the toilet?
Entry fees, exit fees and high MER Mutual funds? Seriously, how many times do we (pretty much everyone writing about investing) have to write about this topic? Evidently, we have not hit the maximum count yet. They are called Index Funds, look it up.
What are you paying in Insurance rates? Are you shopping around? Remember that insurance is only for ” … in case stuff happens …” (to paraphrase Chris Rock). If you are overpaying for insurance your money is flushing away.
Memberships that you are no longer using? That fitness club membership, are you using it? Do you really read the newspaper?
Am I missing any other Financial Toilets that flush hot water ?
“You will never have more time to achieve your goals than you have right now.”
This phrase is so true, for money, and unfortunately as you read this article, you now have less time than when you first started reading this article. Most motivational phrases like this (for me) are double-edged swords.
A better catchphrase to go with, on your financial journey, is the following:
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time, is right now.”
You have worked hard for your pay, and you deserve to do something for yourself with all that cash you earned, so here are some of the best things you can spoil yourself financially.
Go to the Mall, find a Banking machine, and deposit that money into your savings account. If you don’t have any cash on you and all of your money is in your bank already, indulge by walking by that ATM (and get a special warm feeling of accomplishment if it is a “White ATM” which might have charged you $3.00 to withdraw your money).
While you are strolling through the mall, if you see something you really want to buy in one of the stores, realize how many hours you would have to work to pay for that thing, and then bask in the warm glow of knowing how much money you would keep by not buying it, and then don’t buy it.
As you pass the Restaurant that you love to eat at, remember that wonderful sensation that isn’t the ten kilos of fat. that you would have accumulated if you continued to eat their huge portions. Self-control is a wonderful feeling and you deserve the rapture you experience when you exert it. You also won’t need that gym membership, because you didn’t put on those extra 10 kilos.
If you are at your computer, go to the BMW web site, and design your dream car, give it all the extras you have always wanted (include a heated coffee cup holder). Take in this glorious piece of Bavarian Auto Prowess, then make sure that your bus pass is up to date, and know that by not buying this gorgeous piece of auto porn, you will be able to make a down payment on a house.
Find all of your credit card statements, and see how many you can pay off this month, and think of all the money you didn’t have to spend on high interest charges, because you are that person. You may use your credit cards, but you are also an Adult, and know that you should pay off your debts.
Doesn’t it make you feel special spoiling yourself like this? Are there any other decadent financial pampering you can do for yourself ?