EQ Bank Savings Plus Account

Pay Day Loan Mortgages ?

in Humor, Mortgage Rates

After reading about an amazing new movie that premiered in the U.S. called Sharknado (yes it is sharks inside a Tornado) I wondered what would be the most ridiculous (yet remotely plausible) financial idea I could ever think up, and I came up with a Mortgage Company but that uses Pay Day Loans methodologies.

It’s a Tornado with Sharks!

Why would you go to a Pay Day Loan place to finance your house? How should I know, the premise is the dumbest financial idea that is slightly plausible (where slightly plausible should read impossible). OK, so we go down to the BCM Shyster Loan store front and decide we want to buy our new house and get all the capital from the Pay Day Loan store, however, we really only need the money for 2 weeks (as we plan on winning the lottery by then). We have found the home of our dreams, but we need $300,000 to close the deal (luckily when we win Lotto Max that will easily cover this cost), so we wander into the BCM Shyster Loan store and ask for this loan.

Naturally the droid behind the counter is completely thrown aback by this request but goes and asks her “manager” (actually it’s her older brother Ryan, but we won’t go there), and for some reason Ryan (the manager) decides that we have an honest face, and we seem to have a credit card with a credit limit of over $400,000 (which has no balance now), so the “loan” can go through.

So after two weeks when I go back to BCM Shyster Loan store, all I need is $30,000 to pay back this loan (which I easily have from winning the Lotto Max), so the story ends happily, I have the house of my dreams, and there are no sharks in tornadoes flying around my house.

I am planning a sequel post about financing a leveraged stock option short sell using Pay Day Loans.

Any other great financial success stories like Sharknado out there?

I thought Mother F’ing Snakes on the Mother F’ing Plane was the oddest movie idea ever, I stand corrected.

{ 3 comments }

  • Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com July 16, 2013, 7:20 AM

    HAhaha, very amusing article. They’ll make a movie about anything these days!

    Reply
  • Bet Crooks July 15, 2013, 9:41 PM

    You know who’d take out one of those loans, doncha? The people who have just come out of a $5000 seminar on how to make your first million in real estate by flipping properties. See they now know they can buy the house for $300 000 today and flip it for $400 000 next week, so they’ll have lots of money to pay the loan. (Perhaps I’ve just given you the idea for the sequel to Payday Loan Mortgages?)

    Reply
  • Pret Personnel July 15, 2013, 1:02 PM

    lol.. ok well have you seen Piranha 3DD ? 😉 awesome post btw. Very creative merger.

    Reply

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