Some Terrible Financial Crackers

The British tradition of the Christmas Cracker is something I plan on continuing. Today, we will celebrate the horrible puns found in the Crackers, with these Terrible Financial Crackers.

Inside Christmas Crackers, there was a toy, a paper crown and usually a bad joke, pun or sage advice. These ideas for some sage financial advice are supposed to make you groan and wince when you read them.

Cracker 1:

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

Cracker 2:

I once got into so much debt that I couldn’t even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

Cracker Next:

I had an account with a bank in the North Pole, but they froze all my assets.

Cracker for Uncle Stan

A bank manager without anyone around may find themselves a-loan.


Care to buy some? Available from Amazon

Some Other Bad Financial Puns

You get the idea, the Financial Christmas Cracker needs a financial pun (or worse a groaner) as its message.

Cost of living balloons due to high inflation!

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.

Christmas Crackers

Irresponsible financiers must be discredited.

During an earthquake in California a bank went into default.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

OK One More

There was an extra one in the box:

Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.

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Giving Tuesday

Black Friday, Cyber Monday and then? Giving Tuesday, of course. At the end of the year and during the holiday season, many charities rely on getting the bulk of their funding from the public.

In Ottawa, many charities are still recovering from the great Phoenix Sideswipe, so giving is that much more important.

If you give during the year, thank you. If you are looking for a list of charities to give to, every city has a list. I will include at the end of this list a group of charities that I either support, or have supported in the past.

Remember the gift itself doesn’t have to be only cash, it can be securities, but it can also be your talents. Phone up the charity and ask if they need help. If you have a specific skill that you think can help, offer that skill, there are many ways to help out a Charity.

If you are volunteer, Thank You as well. Your good works are appreciated, even if you aren’t always told that. Maybe we should call Wednesday Thank You Volunteer Wednesday?

Giving Tuesday Charities

Here is a list of a few interesting charities in Ottawa you can help out with a donation:

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The 12 Days of Christmas Debt

Just to get everyone in a festive Christmas spirit allow me to offer, this cautionary tale of Christmas Debt.

The 12 Days of Christmas DEBT

12 Months of Agonizing Payments

Have you paid off last Christmas yet? How about the one before that?

11 Maxed Out Credit Cards

How much room do you have on those cards? Really?

10 Overdrafts a leaping

Really, how much are you paying in overdraft fees? Just because your bank balance can show a negative value, doesn’t mean it should always be that way!

9 Minimum Payments

You realize you will pay that off in 20 years with those minimum payments, or possibly 50 years? Minimum payments simply forestall the inevitable.

8 Balance Transfers

Shuttling debt from one credit card to another is not solving the problem. Juggling chainsaws will lead to a messy end, and that is what this is.

7 Cashed in Emergency Funds

Christmas debt is an emergency? Don’t think that is the emergency you were planning for.

6 Pay Day Loans

This could be starting a death spiral in your finances that will lead you to Day (3)

5 Gold Reclamations!

Did your Grandmother leave you that ring to help you cash it in for pennies on the dollar to pay off debt?

4 Calling Collection Agencies

These are not the bogus ones you get emails from, these are the real ones

3 Calls to insolvency trustees

They can help, but you can’t keep doing this every year either.

2 Calls to your family for an emergency loan

You do have to pay those back, you realize?

1 Mortgage Refinance

Using the equity in your house to pay for consumer debt is a very bad thing.

Yes, not very festive, but ultimately a bit too true. I go to Church and I am confident the Christmas season is not designed to bankrupt you. It is at time to get together with family and friends. 

Wonder why you dislike this time of season? How many of the Days of Debt on the list are you facing in January? 

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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Yes the day is here, and I hope that you have a wonderful and special time with family and friends today. Merry Christmas to you all!

Christmas Tree 2017
The Actual Christmas Tree at my House

A favorite short video that played in Montreal on CFCF 12 at this Merry Christmas time for your enjoyment.

If that was a bit too austere for you, here is one of my favorites, a Wombling Merry Christmas. You could listen to Slade’s Merry Christmas too, but I still love the wombles.

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Winter, Inflation and Christmas are Here and #MoneyTalk

Christmas is finally here, and we can then unleash the orgy of spending known as Boxing Day/Week/Month! The sales will start on Christmas Eve, and will continue until there is no snow on the ground. Boxing Day sales used to be interesting, when I got money for Christmas, but now, they bore me. Luckily inflation is here as well!

When did giving a car for Christmas become a thing? One year we got a Vic-20 and I thought that was a huge extravagance. I was planning on giving everyone a Bitcoin, but that got a little out of hand a bit too quick.

Winter is here, to quote Game of Thrones. Days will start getting longer in the Norther Hemisphere but still look for the Debt White Walkers, Rising Dragon-fire Interest rates and the Foreclosure Wildlings, which are now loose.

Game of Thrones Financial

The White Walkers Want Your Money

Did you buy bread at Loblaws or those associated stores? They want to pay you $25 because they gouged you by price fixing. Loblawcard.ca is the place to go and register to get your card. I will be donating mine to my local foodbank.

Guess What? Inflation is back on the table. The Consumer Price Index is back at 2.1%, with transportation dragging the index up for November.

Inflation by Category for November 2017

I bet you are asking, what part of the transportation index contributed the most?

The gasoline index contributed the most to the rise in the CPI in every province except for Newfoundland and Labrador, where a lower gasoline price increase was partly attributable to a reduction in the province’s gasoline tax which took effect in June 2017.

Remember how gas was cheap a while ago? Here is confirmation that yes, it is back up for the Holidays! (not that I would be implying price-fixing in Gas prices either).



My Recent Writings

The past few weeks I have spoken with a few folks, and answered some email from people who are getting very discouraged about the DTC policy changes (apparently) at the CRA. With this in mind I wrote Apply for the DTC Please as a reminder that if you don’t apply you will never get the Disability Tax Credit.

Also, at the end of this post is something most of my readers have been waiting for, my top 3 Christmas Music Songs of all time. Yes, I do have a soft Christmassy side too.

Micro Blogging on Finance

Here is a social media post that has Bitcoins, Bankruptcy and if you click the link you have to use Google Translate to read it! That is a festive Tweet in my books.

🎄 If you want more great financial stories click here 🎄

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