Money is Love šŸ’° = šŸ’˜

From what I can tell from the ads that have assaulted me for the past month (since the Christmas ads died down), the best way to show love is by spending money, and showing off that you have more money to give later.Ā  If you aren’t spending a lot of money on someone you (claim to) love, then it is obvious that you do not love them (enough).

Yes, I have ranted about St. Valentine’s Day pretty much every year that I have written here (10 years?), but things seem to be accelerating in terms of your need to show love by spending money. I thought Christmas was bad enough, but now Love Day, is trying to surpass Christmas in conspicuous spending for your loved ones. These kind of vulgar displays of wealth always sickens me, but to each his own, I suppose.

OpenSSL HeartBleed Bug

No that is not a Valentine’s Heart, it is the Heartbleed Heart, don’t put this on any Valentine’s Cards either.

Maybe, what is needed is to think about things that will financially help your loved ones (without bankrupting you). To help you not fall prey to the ire of your loved ones, here are some Financial Valentine’s Day ideas that are useful, and won’t give you diabetes (or an allergic reaction to roses)

  • Put some money in your loved ones RRSP, if that doesn’t say love I don’t know what is. You want to make sure they can retire, and get tax refunds too, now that is saying love with cash, and I am OK with that one. How Banks haven’t hooked into this, since Valentine’s Day is in the middle of “RRSP season”, I have no idea. For the price of a dozen roses, you might get $40 in tax credits back, long after the roses have withered and died.
  • Put money in your children’s RESP, so they can have the option to go to University or a useful post-secondary program.Ā  Giving your loved ones options in their lives is truly the greatest gift you can give them (and if that option includes them moving out of your house, and being able to support themselves, so much the better).
  • Needless to say a little money in a TFSA could always brighten a lover’s view of you (OK, maybe not, but it is better for them than a box of chocolate candies).
  • A more risquĆ© present, which can be dangerous, is paying off your loved ones debts (or putting money towards it). Why dangerous? You paying off your lovers debts won’t help them in the long run, as they will just think that you will bail them out every time, so careful with this present. What you figured I’d suggest something out of 50 Shades of Grey? That movie’s release on Valentine’s Day is possibly the funniest idea I have ever heard.

Let me also recommend, that if you actually follow through with any of these ideas, I will not back you up, if you are crazy enough to get your Valentine’s Day gift ideas from a Financial Blogger, you can sleep in the bed that you made!

Other Fun Valentine’s Day Rants

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2015 The Financial Year of the Mason Jar

Mrs. C8j is an avid reader of many diverse sites, and trawling Pinterest and such (where you can find Big Cajun Man as well), and sheĀ thinks that the new big exciting thing in personal finances and budgeting for this year is the Mason Jar.

As a Small Cajun Man, when I grew up, Momma C8j (my mother) had lived through rationing in the UK (and WWII) so she was very frugal and very careful with all kinds of food so we had an entire pantry full of mason jars for canning of:

  • Tomatoes, that Momma C8j had grown in the garden, and then used throughout the year in all kinds of wonderful sauces, soups and stews.
  • Strawberry, and Raspberry Jam, that she bought at the Jean Talon market in large quart baskets, when they were in season, and we enjoyed fresh jam all year round.
  • Some lovely pears and home made fruit cocktail, again from the market when in season, so we had this for the winter.
Mason Jar and Budgeting

Behold the Wondrous Mason Jar, for Tomatoes and Cash?

Growing up I viewed the mason jars as a part of life, and a way to make sure we had tasty food all year ’round. Momma C8j is the ultimate frugal lady, she worked hard to stretch a dollar as far as she possibly could (I wish that was genetic, but I never quite got the hang of it).

Later on, when I got to University a Mason Jar was used to hold Long Island Iced Teas or Bloody Caesars or the like. It was an odd site for me, seeing the frugal masonry jar being used as a liquor container, but, life changes.

Now mason jars are an entire bloody industry. You can buy candles that reek of cinnamon, cranberries or other obnoxious odors, in a masonry jar, absolutely not a frugal usage of this divine device.

Getting back to Mrs. C8j’s (my wife) observation, the main new exciting use of the humble mason jar is for budgeting and saving money. Strangely enough Big Daddy C8j (my late father) used a mason jar to hold his spareĀ change (but that was because we had so many of the darn things), so I guess he was way ahead of his time, but I digress.

Many years ago, our friend Gail Vaz-Oxlade had her show “YOU SPEND TOO DAMN MUCH MONEY YOU MORON!” (I think it was called that, I might be mistaken), but she used the humble mason jar as a way to budget and segregate your funds to ensure you didn’t misspend your moneys on the wrong thing (they were all labeled carefully). This seems to be the new “In Vogue” way of doing budgeting (I guess Gail was way ahead of her time too).

I think this is an interesting “thinking differently” idea for folks who are used to living out of their wallets and using their debit cards (i.e. use cash only and segregate that into specific “pots”), but I am now wondering if maybe I should be buying stock in Corning or whoever makes these mason jars? Will there be a sudden shortage due to the glut of budgeting folks (and malodorous candles)?

Budget however you like, but if you use mason jars as your methodology and you fail do not blame the humble mason jar, it is the Symbol of Frugality to me, and should be held in great esteem!

Welcome 2015 the year of the MasonĀ Jar.

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Great Possible Financial Book Titles

After a long discussion with my publisher (BCM Publishing) about my upcoming book, we got stuck on what the title should be, so here are some of the bestĀ possible titles that we can think of for this soon to be best-seller.Ā  Remember the title is what sucks folks into reading it, and we aren’t completely sure what the Main Thematic Premise of the book should be either, so I have included a quick explanation with each title:

Better Catch up on RRSPs

How About this title: Better Catch Up on RRSPs!!!

Starting Investing Late; Stock Tips for the Dead Investor

Figure it is a dead sure best seller? Too much? You can really take a lot of risks with your investments if you have nothing to lose.

Stock Prices Always Go Up

Don’t they? Certainly that is what all investment folks tell me.

How to Make a Million in Financial Blogging

Look how rich I am. I know of many rich financial bloggers, but then again they use this simple plan on How to Be a 6 Figure Blogger.

The Best Financial Arguments to have with your Spouse

You know that it is always good to argue with your spouse especially about money, and you want to win that argument too.Ā  While you are arguing with her about money, throw in some comments about how she has been “letting herself go” for a while.

Sure You Can See My Last Natural Gas Bill

What could go wrong with that? I trust most strangers that come to my door at 8:00 PM at night, don’t you?

Hedge Funds are For Everyone

You can trust Hedge Fund managers,Ā they have your best interests at heart. Look how much money is spent here? Everyone talks about it, it must be a very good thing.

Stop Worrying and Get In Debt Already

Everyone is doing it, aren’t they? Remember worrying is what is going to kill you, not the debt.

It is NEVER too Good to Be True (or the Pyramid Scheme Story)

I keep getting these e-mails about how I could make a fortune, they must be telling the truth.

The Lottery Ticket Retirement Plan

Certainly more than 1 of my acquaintances, is using this retirement plan.

Any other titles I missed? This seems to be similar to my infamous post There Are No Dumb Financial Questions.

No I am not going to be publishing a book, I can barely slap two sentient sentences together, but that hasn’t stopped other folks.

 

 

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Financial Answers and Questions

Today I will give you my Alex Trebek imitation (he is Canadian) and I will give you a financial answer and you will in turn try to guess the possible question for this answer.

Here is an example:

Sorry I don’t have any cash (even though you do have money, you just don’t want to give it to that person)

Possible financial questions:

  1. Can you loan me $10 so I can go buy 2 Lotto-Max tickets?
  2. Let’s go to the Casino and have a good time, want to come?
  3. I am selling my entire Flock of Seagulls vinyl collection, are you interested in buying it?
  4. Would you like to extend the warranty for your $25 electronics purchase for another 2 years ?
Answers

Weird Answer, but what was the question?
(Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

These are all excellent questions that the answer would apply to, and I am sure there is a plethora of other responses possible.

You see where I am coming from with this, so here are a couple of Financial Answers, and I’d love to read your Financial Questions that would go with them.

  1. That makes as much sense (to me) as Snake Mittens
  2. That is one way you could do it, but I wouldn’t.
  3. That is the one place that binary options would make sense.

Go ahead see what financial questions you can associate with any of those three answers.

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Fool Proof Market Timing System

Before implementingĀ this ground breaking investing heuristic, please read the important offer at the end, before acting.

Many folks have asked me the best way to out-perform the market by predicting market momentum (i.e. Market Timing or finding market trends), to optimize even a couch potato portfolio, and I was blown away when I came across one of the best fundamental market analysis tools, designed for this exact task. You might be surprised to find out you already have heard of this tool, but not used for market trending. Astoundingly, I found that the best possible way to predict how the market trends is to use the tried and true methodology of Biorhythms.

Biorhythms are a scientifically proven method of seeing the trends, momentum, and rhythms of people and now large systems, and this mathematical tool has been used for decades as an excellent way to see the trends and cycles that rule our world. Some have said that the ancient Egyptians knew of Ā Biorhythms and the ancient Pharaohs had their Wisemen plot their cycles to maximize their productivity and decisions.

What I am suggesting is that this scientifically devised trend predicting heuristic can easily be expanded to Stock Market momentum and predicting trends, as well. Even if you are an Index investor, if you know the cycles of the Index, then you can time the purchases of your Index in a more natural and empathetic method.

How can biorhythms be used to predict Key Price Levels and avoid trade breakouts? The secret insiders methodology is much simpler than you might think. Let’s say we are talking about the TSE/TSX, we know that that it was founded onĀ October 25, 1861 and if we plot the cycles from this date we end up with these two intriguing graphs:

TSE Biorhythms

TSE Biorhythms Part 1

As you can see right now would be an AWFUL time to buy the TSE Index as it is a Triple Low for Intellectual, Emotional and Physical, however if we look even closer:

TSE Biorhythm

TSE Biorhythm Part 2

Wisdom, Passion and Mastery are also almost a triple low as well, so it might be disastrous decision to buy right now.

If you follow the Biorhythms of your Index you may make more sound investing decisions.

Important Offer (** Spoiler Alert **)

OK, if you are still reading this and wondering if I have lost my mind, this is the Big Cajun Man pulling your leg.

This method is absolute Hokum and me making fun of all those Market Timing (pay me lots of money and I will show you) offers I keep receiving. Do Not Use This heuristic in any Financial Dealings in your life! This is an attempt at humor, and should not be followed as financial advice in any way, shape or form!

I was watching a Hill Street Blues episode and they started talking about Biorhythms (a big thing in the early 80’s) and I decided to take it to its next natural level.

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