I am on a conflict resolution course this week, where I am learning the right way to resolve conflicts (right meaning, how my employer wants it resolved). So far the best resolution technique I heard, was actually a “bad example” about going out back behind the motor pool with shovels and resolving problems (the way we did back in the 60’s). Sounds fine to me, but I am also highly trained in the manly art of hand to hand combat with a shovel.
Given most folks don’t want to go “shovel to shovel” with their spouse, still the major level of conflict in most homes is rooted in money (hence the root of all evil commentaries you hear from many different religions), some odd examples that come to mind where conflict might arise are:
- Differing philosophies on how to value money. One spouse believes money is to be used to have fun, the other believes it is to be saved for a rainy day. I believe the resolution here might be Derringers at 10 paces, or divorce court.
- One spouse hides money from the other spouse. This typically happens when one spouse is nominated or has a coup d’etat and runs “all the money decisions”, and eventually decides this chore should have compensation (and hence money starts going into a bank account unknown by the other spouse). This one might be resolved by Sabres at dawn, or Marriage Counseling.
- Neither spouse takes care of paying the bills, the conflict is resolved when they are thrown out of their home and/or the power,water and electricity is turned off. I guess this conflict kind of resolves itself, in an odd way.
- One spouse comes into the matrimonial home with a big wad of cash, and the spouse to be has signed a pre-nuptual agreement (causing the poorer spouse conflict because they feel inferior). This conflict is resolved when the wealthy spouse is caught having slept around, and the agreement is null and void. This is called the Woods Dilemna in money circles (I have heard).
As you can tell, it’s a dangerous thing to send me on courses, because my mind tends to wander a bit too much.
What other Matrimonial Strife can be caused by Money? Feel free to chime in.