(NB: This post while whimsical, in no way, condones abuse of alcohol or drinking and driving.Do not drink and drive!)
Happy Saint Patty’s Day! Indeed the patron saint of Ireland is also the patron saint of Engineers. This explains why so many of them think they are Irish on this day.
Let us thank Saint Patrick who I will extend his Patron Sainthood to cover Technology in General.
Thank you Saint Patrick for Ireland, which gives us Guinness Stout, truly a drink that passes as a meal. Guinness is the drink of all Irish Wannabes on this hallowed day. Remember to drink responsibly. Do not abuse your finances if you are under the influence of alcohol. This is true every day of the year, but especially on Saint Patrick’s day. You don’t want to wake up in a strange bed, next to a goat wondering where your wallet has gone. Never happened to me.
Remember for you younger folk The Best Advice I Ever Received Once I Reached Legal Drinking Age. Also, Remember to Always Buy the First Round. No one ever remembers any other round, but the first one, they do!
Thank you Saint Patrick for Technology, which was brought by your Engineers (and others). Without technology, the Personal Finance World of today would not exist.
Without Saint Patrick and his technology, we would not have the ATM. The ATM will be used many times this Saint Patrick’s day, to get money for the next round. Possibly to pay for a taxi cab ride home. If you have drunk enough not to remember your PIN, you have had enough to drink. How you get home without your PIN, is your problem.
Thank you Saint Patrick for Direct Withdrawal Technology. This will allow us to more easily pay for the next round on Saint Patrick’s Day, this technology truly makes this day even better. Again, once you have forgotten your PIN, you are cut off. With tap and go NFC technology this isn’t as big a worry these days.
Thank you Saint Patrick for Credit Card Chip Technology, which again, will stop inebriated users, with it’s new PIN technology (unless you have a PC Mastercard, in which case you can still smear a version of your signature on a receipt and blindly keep imbibing). Be careful of the bars with the “tap and go” technology, because then your PIN no longer is needed, and you can get in much more trouble!
Thank you Saint Patrick for GPS technology. The weary Designated Driver, who is driving home his or her besotted friends, only has to look at their wallets, find their address and type it into the GPS, and not have to rely on their friends’ directions to get them home.
Thank you Saint Patrick for the technology that allowed us to find our iPhones and Smartphones when we accidentally leave them in a bar or someone’s house. It also allows us to find bars using those same Smartphones, once we have found the phone.
Thank you Saint Patrick for On-Line Banking. This will allow our spouses and loved ones to track us, using our bank account expenditures. Just remember, if you are spending like a drunken student, is your wife the one who is going to see the bills (online)? Weren’t you supposed to be visiting a sick Uncle?
Finally, we thank you Saint Patrick for the Breathalyzer which will catch intoxicated drivers every day of the year, but more so today. Remember, the penalties for drinking and driving are severe. The lives you will save by not driving intoxicated might not be just your own.
Enjoy But Safely
Having said all that, I encourage you to enjoy Saint Patrick’s Day, but in a responsible way, both in terms of Alcohol and your finances. You don’t want to open a Mastercard bill in a month with a $1000 charge on it from Big Caj O’Shea’s Bar and Grill!