Household Money Caretaker
Who in your house takes care of the money? This question is interesting to me because I have been given so many answers from so many folks, and in most ways it all seems to work (out in the end).
Some of the answers I have received from this query are:
- None of your damn business. I can respect that response, and the folks who answered that way weren’t actually that rude, but that was the message I got.
- Wife takes care, has husband on allowance.
- Vice Verse to (2)
- A team effort
For this discussion, we’ll ignore the “none of your business” crowd and discuss the two scenarios put forward.
A Single Decision Point
Be it either spouse, having a single money caretaker has its positive points in that there is very little discussion, things get done, and the system is relatively streamlined (I am assuming the one person is doing the job correctly; we can leave out the spouse who is playing games with money and not telling their partner). The issues I see that arise in this is what happens in most situations where one spouse is left with a specific (important) home duty, and that is resentment.
What is interesting is that resentment is a two-way street: the person doing the money duties thinks their spouse doesn’t want to know and refuses to follow their (sometimes unwritten or unspoken) rules. The converse is also true: the spouse who doesn’t take care of the money feels they are always doing it wrong and/or always in trouble for it (which can cause a lot of tension in the house). I have seen this for lots of household duties like cooking and cleaning as well (no this is not just a problem of money, but let’s stay in that area for now).
If there is no flow of information back and forth, there are going to be arguments that may or may not be justified when it comes to household money policy (in this scenario), which leads us to the other scenario:
Team Money
In this scenario, both spouses or partners are on equal footing with money and share duties, with a great deal of communication back and forth (ideally). Sometimes it can look like a team scenario is in place, but if you have two partners with income, you can still end up in a segregated decision process (i.e. one spouse takes care of household expenses, the other pays for the mortgage and such, etc.,). That scenario really ends up being individual decision points again, like in the previous scenario.
If both partners are in the process, you would think there should be communication between the two spouses about money, since they are both part of the decision-making process, and this can be the case (ideally), but again, the ugly spectre of resentment can creep in here as well. Communication about money is really important in this scenario or it just ends up with 1 person doing the work and both getting miffed about it.
In the end, I have seen both scenarios work, and both not work so well, but the key in either is communication and sharing information with the other partner. Some major things can destroy relationships (e.g., infidelity), but strangely, money can be either a catalyst or the main reason relationships fail, so talk about money, or you are asking for trouble.
Who takes care of the money in your house?
The best way to manage money is team effort. Both husband and wife should have the say on how and where to save or spend their money. Living together without conflict on how to take care of the household income brings harmony to the family.
Option number 4 makes sense to me since a marriage in itself requires a team effort. And it only makes sense that financial decisions are also a team effort where both partners communicate.
We each take care of our own. Avoids all conflict
Keep thinking that one… sometimes that works, but sometimes…
I tend to take care of the finances in our house. Mrs. SPF is full capable but she has a bunch of things she handles that take up her time. We try to split all of the household work up equally.