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Job Hunting Tips

in Employment Insurance, Humor, Job Hunting, Mistakes, Opinion

For those who have not been following me on twitter you have been missing out on some helpful (if not sarcastic) job hunting tips that I learned throughout my job hunt a few years back.

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Christmas Wishes from the Past

I seem to do this a lot, so here are my Christmas wishes from years gone by:

I have been on both sides of the interview table, so I have interjected a lot of my own pet peeves to this list for candidates that I have met and wondered what they were thinking when they showed up to my job interview.

They are worth a read, and many of them are applicable to all jobs (and some are me being a smart ass). Some of the best Job Hunting Tips:

TipExplanation
314Always wear clean underwear to a job interview but never show them to your interviewer either
41Tell someone you are using as a reference before you use them, “… who? That Idiot? I would never hire them!”, could be your reference. Ensure all your naked photos are well hidden on your social media as well.
271Be Precise, e.g. “When I invented the Internet, I was working at…”, no one likes vagueness in job interviews
666Be complimentary with your interviewer: “That outfit doesn’t make you look nearly as fat…”
69Hygiene is important, always shower before your interview, ensure there is no green leafy things in your teeth either.
13If anyone asks you about your religious views, claim to be a Druid or a follower of Zeus
44Humor has a place but don’t do the Uncle Buck mole bit if interviewer has one (don’t be a twiddler)
313One answer that always gets interviewer’s attention “Why the f*ck would you ask me that?”
535Scents make you memorable at an interview, but don’t eat bean burritos 2 hours beforehand, you are too memorable then
345Arguing with your interview about technical issues is OK, but will you being right (in your opinion) get you the job?
478The more the interviewer talks, the better you are doing, except if they are yelling about your lack of skills
87The only person you can “throw under the bus” in an interview is yourself, don’t blame others, explain why
101It’s good to seem to know a lot, but very bad to appear to be a Know-it-all , keep that in mind
311Network more with people who have jobs, not as much with folks who are also looking for jobs
444Over 80% of jobs are found through “connections” and “contacts”, so get out and interact with folks!
665When interviewer asks “Any questions”, do not ask, “What are your sick leave rules like?”, first.
3Think you are indispensable? You may be, until you are dispensed, start looking for jobs before you are dispensed.
129At the interview be sincere (once you can fake it, you are in)!
37Be agreeable but not a suck-up (unless that is what they want, then be one), be yourself once you have the job
333Don’t answer question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” with “Doing your job, or better your boss”
Not sure these are all completely on the level, but you never know.

Foolproof Job Hunting Tips

Hope these help, stay tuned I do have some more coming.

{ 4 comments }

  • Sustainable PF August 3, 2011, 1:04 PM

    #314 – Caveat: Unless you are Sharon Stone.

    Reply
  • Bankruptcy Ben August 1, 2011, 7:29 PM

    whoa.. you can ask about someones religious views in an interview?

    Reply
  • krantcents August 1, 2011, 3:20 PM

    I like you questions so much I think I borrow them and use them the next time I interview! Good thing, I am in my last formal career. Funny stuff!

    Reply

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