Skip to content

I’m an Adult Now?

I wrote this shortly after my Dad passed away in 2011. My Dad was a very hard-working man, with a very English sense of humour, and I miss him every day.

That realization came to me the day my Dad passed away around Easter (yes my Blogcation, wasn’t a vacation. It was me helping out my Mum (as best I could) to deal with my Dad’s passing). I still haven’t come to grips or feel comfortable writing about this subject, but the N.C.F.B.A. did convince me that when I did, it would be OK, as long as I was honest (thanks Preet, Michael James, Canadian Capitalist, Larry Mac and My Own Advisor).

With this in mind, I have written a few posts already about this topic and what I have learned over the past few months, but I want to edit them before posting them (so that they aren’t cathartic and emotional explosions from me).  One idea and post that came to me right after my Dad’s passing was the realization of when you reach Adulthood.

I am an Adult Now?

As I was driving to my Parent’s home (about a 2-hour drive) just after my Mum had called to tell me about my Dad’s passing, I had a lot of thoughts and emotions going on, but the one that stuck with me from that day is, I am an Adult Now (and frankly it scares the hell out of me).

Most of us grow up with our parents, and in most situations, we start endowing our parents with super powers (in our minds). Parents are indestructible, infallible, and someone (or more specifically the O.N.E.) who can make things better (I find it hard to believe my kids think this way about me). This begs the question: when your parents finally pass on, what happens then? Who takes care of you then?

I think the easy answer is, “now it’s time to put on the big boy (or girl) pants and start doing the job yourself,” but that almost sounds trite. There are a lot of people I know that have had to start taking care of themselves very early on in their lives (and I respect those folks a great deal), so me lamenting that I am now suddenly under all this pressure at the tender age of 50, sounds like a pile of self-pitying crap, but it is still how I feel.

Having had a few months to think about this, it is natural to mourn the loss of someone who has been a large part of your life and lament their departure with some self-pity. I guess I am getting used to being an Adult. I might even figure out how money works.

There is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man – with human flesh.

Frank Herbert — Dune

Feel Free to Comment

  1. BCM, while I’m sorry for your deep loss, your ability to discuss it, share your thoughts, willingness to reflect and accept will undoubtedly help you.

    Kudos for that courage.

    Your post has reminded me to remember my dad, my parents, and enjoy my time with them while I can. Life is short, for all of us.

  2. myjourneytomillions

    I am very sorry to hear about your father. I completely understand your feelings though. At this point at 30 I have a home a kid, a couple businesses but when I am with my dad I don’t always feel like an adult. Very odd and I think innate only to Humans

  3. jadebloggerlove92 – South Africa – Hi everyone, my name is Jade, I am 19 years old. I'm a born and bred farm girl; I've lived on farm my whole life, well until March 2011 when I moved to the Durban. So growing up for me was playing outside in the garden and with my parents’ workers. I used to do everything with our maids, I ate their food, I followed them everywhere and I even wanted to sleep in their huts with them, they were my best friends. I grew up with cows and sugar cane, so I know how to get down and dirty in overalls, milk cows, and ride horses - that sort of thing. As I grew up, I drifted away from my routes and became more involved in the 'normal life' that my friends had. I started spending all my time with them, going out, shopping beaching and turns out I liked that life a lot more. Now since I've moved here to Durban, there's no place I'd rather be than at home, it's such a different life here, not one I'm used. I now like to say home is where the heart is, and my heart is on the South Coast where I grew up. I love blogging, tweeting and facebooking. I have many dreams and goals set for myself with every intention to make them happen. I love meeting new people and I’m very easy to get along with. Now I’m a person who would rather stay home and chill with my boyfriend than go out jolling.

    I’m really sorry to here about your father, your post is very true though, it does make you wake up to the real world around you.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Exit mobile version