Two Sentence Financial Horror Stories

in Humor, Quicken

That was my challenge to my readers and the two most hideous stories would win boxed copies of Quicken and the two most hideous stories (in my opinion) were:

“Gold can never go down,” said my broker.
I took his advise and put my life savings into gold at $1,944.

This scary short story came from oakvilleon and man I believe I uttered a blood curdling scream when I first read it. Whoever gave that advice really should be in a different line of business.

I Know What You Did With your Money!

I Know What You Did With your Money!

The second horror story goes this way:

It was late in 2007, I had just been retired, the decision was to keep my pension plan or get paid out. Adviser said “we can beat those returns”, yah right!

Wayne Stuart left this one, and it really hit a horrified chord with me because I had the same kind of decision to make with my pension money when I got laid off, luckily I got some better advice.

Wayne and Oakvilleon have been informed and soon a boxed copy of Quicken 2013 will be whisking it’s way to them.

There were other strong horror stories that I include in this post, for your horrified reading pleasure:

Bought Nortel @ $10 (after it went down from $100). Still “own” it.

CBor was almost a winner with that one, as I did the same mistake, horrifying!

The Debt Collector snarled, “Pay up now; you know we are just going to keep calling until you pay us!” Sure you will, right up until I declare bankruptcy, that is!”, I replied.

Not as much scary as ironic, in my opinion, but still scary in it’s own way from Denis.

I knew it was the biggest financial commitment I would ever make in my lifetime. Can we afford the mortgage and other financial commitments of a $2,000,000 house?

Holy mother of pearl, $2,000,000 house? This nail biter from Adam had me screaming WHY????

 

 

 

{ 5 comments }

  • Susan August 4, 2015, 8:35 PM

    I combined 2 of your stories into one epic tale of horror. First I cashed out a pension when I left my university job because “we could do better” AND then proceeded to buy Nortel stocks with it. (Btw that was because of a 3rd stupid thing I did. I let my husband manage the investments).

    Reply
  • Mike Carlson August 30, 2013, 12:43 AM

    $2-million-dollar house? That is really a horror!

    Reply
  • Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com August 27, 2013, 9:28 AM

    How about: ” I could do a quick day-trade on Fannie Mae and make 25% profit. Now I have to work another 3 years before I can retire.”

    Reply
  • Bet Crooks August 26, 2013, 11:58 AM

    On a smaller scale than those doozies, how about: “I can quadruple the charitable tax receipt on anything I donate so sign me up for $4 million!” And then the audits began.

    According to the National Post, it happened. The donors listened to the Donations for Canada Gift Program when it said “a $2,500 donation will get you a $10,000 charitable gift receipt.” According to the National Post, almost 10,000 Canadians “donated” about $144 MILLION to the plan. Truly scary.

    Reply

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