Parenting Tip #327: Large Expenditures (Weddings & Education)

In hopes of helping other parents who might be having issues about how to spend their hard-earned pay on their children, sometimes myself and Mrs. C8j offer useful parenting tips, and this week we give you a solution to the following prickly solution:

Your daughter/princess wants to go to the University of OH MY GOD IT COSTS A FORTUNE, and she also wishes to have a Wedding out of a fairy tale (i.e. something well over $100K in costs).

I can already hear some of you answering, “Oh my God BCM, I am having that exact same problem, how can we resolve this issue?“. If you can afford this, then you need not read any further.

In our case we are attempting to create a creative compromise for this problem. We believe that education is very important and we have attempted to save (as best we can) for our children’s post secondary education, and we will try our best to have our children graduate with no debt load (that has to do with their University Education). I know some of my regular readers believe this is a mistake, but in our opinion it is important.

As for the fairy tale wedding, I have pointed out to my children that Mrs. C8j and I are of modest means and that if they ask for any moneys towards their wedding, I have a simple rule in place:

  • If I put any money into a wedding, I as HOST then have the rights to: invite who(m)ever I wish to this event, I can drink as much as I like, and I can say whatever I want (and I have many incriminating pictures available for the “Father of the Bride” speech).
  • If I don’t pay for a wedding, I am then only a guest, and I must abide by the rules put forward by the hosts of the party, and I will (to the best of my abilities), be my regular cordial self, I will (attempt) to not drink to excess and will have a short and not excessively embarrassing “Father of the Bride” speech.

What are My Kids’ Opinion ?

My children are fully cognizant of my abilities to embarrass them without even trying, hopefully they will cringe when they think about what I might do if I was trying (hard) to embarrass them.

I think this is a very simple solution to the problem, but I already know that some of my readers will actually say, “Don’t pay for either“, but I am interested to hear your opinions none the less. Maybe I should ask Gail Vaz-Oxlade what she thinks of this?


Weddings and Costs

Bankrupting a New Relationship with an Expensive Wedding

After spending a very enjoyable evening at my brother-in-law’s reception on Saturday night I looked back on my wedding and where we had the right idea, and where we might have gone wrong (financially speaking, I’ll leave the critique on relationships to Mrs. C8j):

  • We had our reception as a brunch which was much cheaper and because we only needed the reception room until 3:00 PM, we actually got it for free, as we had booked lots of rooms and we were paying for the meal.
    • Because this was brunch very little liquor was served as well.
  • The real reception was at my wife’s parents house, so we and her parents bought most of the booze “retail” from the OLC, which was cheaper.
  • We didn’t spend too much on a honeymoon (which I view as a regret, but we just couldn’t afford it).
  • Both sets of parents gave generously to the blessed event as well (in case they are reading and thinking I am trying to portray this as something I solely paid for).

I am not a believer in blowing huge amounts of cash for a wedding (as you can tell).


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