Foolproof Job Hunting Tips
For those who have not been following me on the tweety you have been missing out on some helpful (if not sarcastic) job hunting tips that I learned throughout my job hunt a few years back.
I have been on both sides of the interview table, so I have interjected a lot of my own pet peeves to this list for candidates that I have met and wondered what they were thinking when they showed up to my job interview.
They are worth a read, and many of them are applicable to all jobs (and some are me being a smart ass). Some of the best Job Hunting Tips:
- Tip 314: Always wear clean underwear to a job interview but never show them to your interviewer either
- Tip 319: Never answer any question in a job interview with “This bitch one time…”, unless you are a dog breeder
- Tip 271: Be Precise, e.g. “When I invented the Internet, I was working at…”, no one likes vagueness in job interviews
- Tip 666: Be complimentary with your interviewer: “That outfit doesn’t make you look nearly as fat as you are…”
- Tip 69: Hygiene is important, always shower before your interview, and cover all open sores and cuts
- Tip 13: If anyone asks you about your religious views, claim to be a Druid or a Sumarian Snakecharmer
- Tip 44: Humor has a place but don’t do the Uncle Buck mole bit if interviewer has one (don’t be a twiddler)
- Tip 313: One answer that always gets interviewer’s attention “Why the f*ck would you ask me that?”
- Tip 535: Scents make you memorable at an interview, but don’t eat bean burritos 2 hours beforehand, you are too memorable then
- Tip 345: Arguing with your interview about technical issues is OK, but MUST you be right
- Tip 478: The more the interviewer talks, the better you are doing, except if they are yelling about your lack of skills
- Tip 41: Tell someone you are using as a reference before you use them, “… who? That Idiot? I would never hire them!”, could be your reference.
- Tip 87: The only person you can “throw under the bus” in an interview is yourself, don’t blame others, explain why
- Tip 101: It’s good to seem to know a lot, but very bad to appear to be a Know-it-all keep that in mind
- Tip 311: Network more with people who have jobs, not as much with folks who are also looking for jobs
- Tip 444: Over 80% of jobs are found through “connections” and “contacts”, so get out and interact with folks!
- Tip 665: When interviewer asks “Any questions”, do not ask, “What are your sick leave rules like?”
- Tip 3: Think you are indispensable? You may be, until you are dispensed, start looking for jobs before you are dispensed.
- Tip 129: At the interview be sincere (once you can fake it, you are in)!
- Tip 37: Be agreeable but not a suck-up (unless that is what they want, then be one), be yourself once u have the job
- Tip 333: Don’t answer question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” with “Doing your job, or better your boss”
Hope these help, stay tuned I do have some more coming.