Translation: “What the bloody hell is this??!?”

It's not quite what I had in mind

Someone please buy me this shirt (my size is XL)

For those of you who don’t know Very British Problems, sorry for the rudeness. There is even a series on Netflix to explain things better.

What does this have to do with money? Everything!

How many times have you talked to a financial planner or an investment broker and they hand you their final report, you cannot tell me you did not think:

“What the bloody hell is this?”

yet, you most likely said something much more, socially acceptable like:

“Could you explain to me your reasons behind this?”

or better still, if you really get a dose of backbone,

It’s not quite what I had in mind.

Seriously, this has never happened to you? I had one investment person tell me, “There is this new interesting stock that you should look into, it has been getting some really good press, it’s called BRE-X“. Even I (at the time pretty much as naive as a new born babe when it came to investing) knew this was dodgy. I had another chap try to convince that Enron would be a good place to put my hard earned money.

Never, ever, feel that you cannot be incredibly blunt with folks when it comes to your money. Do not tip-toe around folks’ feelings when your hard-earned income is involved, say what you mean, no need to be rude, but, no need to be overly vague either. You worked hard for your money, stand up for it.


No Good News Has Been Delivered Using Excel

This is paraphrasing something from John Oliver, on his HBO show. Excel is Microsoft’s spreadsheet/swiss army knife tool (i.e. you can do anything with it), but I agree with Mr. Oliver, I have never seen someone give good news using an Excel Spreadsheet.

These are the WORST PIN you can Have!

A great example of Excel Bad News, a list of bad PINs!

During my career I have seen the following information sent to me in Excel format:

  • Ranking of employees,  used to figure out who gets laid off
  • How much over-budget project is.

In defense of Excel, it is a magnificent tool in terms of accounting and complex arithmetic and such, and usually any good news that might come from an Excel S/S usually ends up being encapsulated into a Powerpoint presentation. If I receive only the data in an Excel S/S it is saying,

“… this is bad news, we don’t feel like “flowering it up” by putting it into a Word Document or a Powerpoint Presentation…”

I have seen this when folks discuss their finances, as soon as an Excel Spreadsheet is opened the level of tension goes up. Rarely does anyone bring up an Excel Spreadsheet up, with your budget on it, to show “… how well you are doing…”, it is to show where (precisely) you are failing.

Can you send good news in an Excel Spreadsheet?


Michael James, inspired me to write another rant/commentary on the financial industry. He wrote about Mouths to Feed in the Financial Industry and it reminded me of a very funny monologue by Chris Rock: Bigger and Blacker (Amazon Link) about how Fathers don’t ask for much in life.

What does daddy get for his hard work? The big piece of chicken at dinner! My mamma would kill us if one of us ate the big piece of chicken by accident!

Daddy's piece of chicken

That is a BIG piece of Chicken

What does this have to do with the Financial System? Everybody in the financial system thinks they are Daddy, they all want the big piece of chicken.

  • Mutual Fund managers want you to pay the front-end, back-end and high MER fees because they are doing that much work to invest for you. That is a whole chicken, not just part of it.
  • Banks think they are the Daddy, just for taking care of your money. There are banks in Europe giving negative interest on your money (the money shrinks if you leave it in the bank).
  • Any Cell Phone Company (in Canada) is your Daddy, how much do you think their service really costs, but they are making sure you get quality service.
  • Internet Service Providers are plumbing, but they want a big piece of Chicken for the way they count your packets (and charge you if you use too many)

Let Daddy have that big financial piece of chicken? No way! They get enough, without taking the big piece of chicken too!

 Image courtesy of piyato. at



Is Your Toilet Flushing Hot Water ?

That is a very odd title, but it did happen. My Brother had just moved into a new town-home complex, and there were a few idiosyncrasies that he found in his new place, but he didn’t notice this issue for a little while after moving in. He really only noticed one day when he sat down and noticed the warmth emanating from the commode, and only then realized that his toilet was connected to the hot water system for his house (not a huge issue, but it would waste a little money for a long time).

Pyromania is burning the unburnable!

No, it wasn’t that hot

Are you flushing hot water in your financial home? How many fees are you paying that you are unaware of, or worse, are ignoring? What kind of fees am I commenting about?

  • Bank fees, do you still pay those? There are so many banks that offer zero fee accounts, why are you flushing that hot water (money) down the toilet?
  • Entry fees, exit fees and high MER Mutual funds? Seriously, how many times do we (pretty much everyone writing about investing) have to write about this topic? Evidently, we have not hit the maximum count yet. They are called Index Funds, look it up.
  • What are you paying in Insurance rates? Are you shopping around? Remember that insurance is only for ” … in case stuff happens …” (to paraphrase Chris Rock).  If you are overpaying for insurance your money is flushing away.

Am I missing any other Financial Toilets that flush hot water ?


Digging Out, Ransomware, RRSP Time and #MoneyStories

After the snowiest day in Ottawa recorded history, Ottawa continues to slowly dig out from the dump. Ottawa is a fun town, where I live (on the outskirts), side streets are almost passable now, however, downtown folks are complaining that the bike lanes are not being cleared fast enough? Oh and our city buses evidently don’t have snow tires, wow. Think of a city of bureaucrats being run by bureaucrats who couldn’t get jobs in the Federal Government. Note, we have not called out the army.

Tea Toss

It was also bloody cold on the weekend (photo of a Tea Toss from CBC)

For those unaware, I am all over the place in social media, on Facebook you can find me, but I have also opened another page on Blogging, but also Internet Security (still in the early stages). Speaking of security, I may have found a side hustle for my retirement given that almost half of folks pay out when their systems are locked with Ransomware, maybe I can become an expert negotiator on trying to get the ransom lowered?

How goes RRSP Season or Rebalance season or TFSA is better than RRSP season? Get a copy of Turbotax and figure out whether you need to or not (read further there are free copies of Turbotax out there). There are other tax software out there too, try them out.

My Writings for Week Ending February 19th

Started the week off strong, but kind of petered out, with only two new posts this week.

Do you have a confidant that you can talk to about money? Sometimes it helps to talk out your plans, and that will help you clarify your goals. If you are looking for free advice, that is when to be careful. Pay someone to give you advice, at least you can complain about it if it didnt’ work.

Do You Have a Money Buddy ?

I am slowly working through my backlog of older unfinished works, and there I found an interesting report about Forced Savings ideas from Stats Canada. Some interesting comments on this one as well.

Forced Savings Works

Twitter Thoughts

Squawkfox has an interesting tweet about RRSP and TFSAs, maybe “TFSA vs. RRSPs in a Southern Death Cage Match”? Maybe we gotta sex this topic up a little? 50 Shades of Savings (TFSA dominates the RRSP)?

👇 For more great financial articles from this week click here 👇


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