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What do you mean my resume sucks?

Resume Writing the Black Art of Job Hunting

So far, I have had three separate and dissimilar groups of people say the same thing. My resume sucks. I answer, “This format got me a job 20 years ago. What could be wrong with it now?” they smirk at me knowingly.

I am being facetious. Maybe, however, the science and acumen to write the “killer” resume are not currently in my writing capabilities (but it will be very soon). The resume is the key to the front door of any job you apply to (unless you have terrific contacts), and it needs to capture the interest of someone who is going to spend no more than a minute reading it (unless this is an electronic system, like Workopolis or Monster, which has other parameters to keep in mind). A resume must catch the reader’s attention quickly (not like a blog, which can ramble on and on mindlessly about singing horses, or why you hate the banks or whatever else is on the blogger’s mind). Writing punchy, short and catchy phrases is essential, this is one of the reasons your resume sucks.

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Job Hunting in Classifieds? Not any More!
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Why Does Your Resume Suck?

Well for the obvious reasons given, most folks never take a course on how to write a resume. I will be attending a seminar on this exact skill tomorrow, so I might know more soon. However, a lot of folks that will review your resume, tell you your resume sucks because they want to rewrite it for you and charge you $600 for this service (at least). Another reason they say that your resume sucks, is because they want you to buy their book on how to write a resume, or attend their seminar on how to write an effective resume.

Does your resume suck? I have no idea. However, remember that if someone tells you that and wants to offer you an expensive service to fix it, you should wonder what their motives are.

I do know that my resume sucks.


Feel Free to Comment

  1. For TD, you could call in and ask them to waive the fees nicely.
    I don’t pay any banking fee, because I either use my LOC as Chequing account (unlimited transaction), or I have their Select Service ($5000 minimum, but I get VISA fees waived, free USD account and other benefits)

    Yeah, sometimes I wonder how I ever got hired, sometimes I think resume doesn’t even matter … who knows, I’ve never been on the hiring side

  2. I just hired someone whose resume was way too long – it mentioned some great things and since I didn’t have 200 resumes to read I had time to go through it. Following “the rules” won’t always get you what you want but they are generally good ideas.

    What I don’t like about resume writing advice in general is that it’s too narrowly focused. The best way to write a resume is to do something that will be noticed. If you write just enough to make someone want to learn more the resume has done its job. You want to make the best of what you have but there’s no tricks that will give you another 10 years of experience.

  3. I’ve never paid an explicit monthly fee for banking. Every couple of months I get charged an extra 60 cents or so because I went over the number of free withdrawals (2 per month, I think). This is a side effect of the fact that I use cash and have never used a debit card.

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