EQ Bank Savings Plus Account

Two Sentence Financial Horror Stories Part Deux

in Humor, Parable

As we saw in yesterday’s terrifying Two Sentence Financial Horror Stories my readers have quite twisted imaginations, and all of this from a Quicken Giveaway Contest, and because I am on vacation, I am taking full advantage of the new content.

He had a regular middle-class life, with a mortgage, credit card debts, car loan, and almost no savings. Then he suddenly lost his job, so he took his severance package and payed himself a nice trip to Europe.

I Know What You Did With your Money!

I Know What You Did With your Money!

An interesting and terrifying concept from Tiago which sounds a little to realistic to me (and thus, that much more terrifying).

“My total debt service ratio is only forty percent, and the interest rate is only 2.99%? Where do I sign”?

Sandi has gone a little too realistic, and it almost caused me to throw up (OK I threw up a little bit into my mouth, it was that bad).

I should have learned from my Nortel experience and not bought Research in Motion a few years ago. iPhones are a passing fad, right?

Seriously Glen what were you thinking writing such horrific financial prose?  Blackberry stock is either doing the cha-cha or is proving that anything that falls 200 feet will bounce.

She said to herself, “Whew, I finally have some hard-earned savings after I lost everything I had in that dot-com crash a few years ago. Well, it’s the mid-2000′s, so I think I’ll put it all into the red-hot market of Las Vegas real estate!”

OK S (or whatever your name is) that is science fiction horror, I hope, who would do that? Stop, please don’t tell me!

“As your financial advisor, my recommendation is to finance your investment of ABC Mining Solutions with your credit card, and invest in as many shares as your credit limit will allow,” he said, his deep, resonant voice lulling me into a trance. “Since you’re borrowing to invest, the interest is tax-deductible, and at a low price of only $3.10 per share, the price has nowhere to go but up.”

Daniel’s creation deserves an honorable mention, because holy crap it is far too realistic!

 

{ 3 comments }

  • David writer August 27, 2013, 8:15 PM

    “Part Deux”? If you were here, my Mother-in-law would give you a piece of her mind. In our house, we talk English. And we talk French. But when we talk Frenglish, she is not impressed.

    Reply
    • bigcajunman August 27, 2013, 8:17 PM

      More of an hommage to Hot Shots Part Deux, than any kind of language buffoonery.

      Reply
  • Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com August 27, 2013, 9:24 AM

    Those are great ones! I like the trip to Europe one the best.

    Reply

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