For my readers out there who are searching for Mister or Ms Right and are not having much luck, here is something to add to your criteria in your search. Consider whether your prospective spouse is set up for retirement. Is your prospective spouse set up for Retirement? Do they have Pension Potential? I am proposing a potential app at the end of this article!
I borrowed this from a female classmate from my “so you want to retire” course a while ago. She correctly pointed out that a great deal of stuff that would benefit her would happen if she were married (or bad things will happen if she gets divorced, and if you are separated, that’s a confusing situation ( for pensions, at least)), if you work for the government.
One thing that we Civil Servants do have in our favour is a very nice pension. If you are looking at those dating sites, find a Teacher or a Civil Servant, as they should have the best financial attributes for Retirement. Finding a potential spouse that has a pension is becoming a lot harder. Very few private firms offer pensions. Maybe I have stumbled upon a new Match Making website, “Pension Potential.”
Pension Potential Topics
Here are some other interesting financial topics to discuss with a future spousal candidate:
- How much discretionary debt do they hold? They have $12,200 worth on their MasterCard. They still have $40,000 in student loans to pay back. Do you want to help them do that? If you marry them, that is on the table.
- Do they ever plan on moving out of their parents' basement? This could mean they are just cheap and don't want to spend money, or maybe they like home cooking? Either way, do you also want to be your future spouse's pseudo-parent?
- Do they constantly pay for everything on dates? Do you wonder why? Are they cheap? Are you cheap? Something to think about as well.
- Do they treat money talk like Voldemort—He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? If every time you mention budgets or savings, they suddenly have to "go feed their cat," then you might be dating a Financial Fugitive.
- Do they think “rainy day fund” means Uber Eats during a drizzle? Do they believe financial planning entails hoping their TikTok goes viral? You may want to swipe left on that Retirement Roulette.
Why am I handing out love life advice? In my years, I have seen more "relationships" destroyed by money issues (and money lifestyle misalignment). I hoped I might help the young folks with a few pointed remarks.
🧡 Potential Dating App Outline: Pension Potential™
“Swipe right on someone who’s already invested... in their pension.”
🔹 App Tagline:
Find Love with Long-Term Benefits
🔹 Profile Must-Haves:
- 📊 Defined Benefit or Defined Contribution – pick your pension type!
- 💸 Debt-to-income ratio: lower than your interest in NFTs.
- 🧓 Projected retirement age (bonus points if it’s before 70).
- 🏠 Lives alone or with a pet. No basements. No moms (unless she’s cool).
🔹 Red Flag Alerts:
🚩 "Entrepreneur" with no tax returns.
🚩 Says RRSP is just another video game rating.
🚩 Thinks CPP is a cryptocurrency.
🚩 Claims they are a leading financial influencer.
🚩 Wants a second date, but at a party with some friends (i.e. Pyramid Scheme)
🔹 Swipe Filters Include:
✅ Government Employee, or anyone with a Pension
✅ Can spell "fiduciary" without Googling
✅ Thinks compound interest is sexy
✅ Doesn't pull out a calculator when asked about the Rule of 72.
🔹 In-App Icebreakers:
- “What’s your pension plan’s commuted value?”
- “Do you believe in love... and automatic payroll deductions?”
- “Would you like to split a TFSA contribution room over coffee?”
🔹 Premium Features:
💼 LinkedIn pension verification
💔 "Exit strategy" pre-nup generator
📅 Joint Retirement Countdown Calendar
Pension Potential™ – Terms of Service (Prenup Edition)
Pension Potential™ – Terms of Service (Prenup Edition)
By swiping right, you agree to the following lovingly binding conditions:
Article 1: Mutual Financial Disclosure
All users agree to reveal the good, the bad, and the still-paying-off-that-sociology-degree parts of their finances. Hidden debt may result in instant unmatching and eternal side-eye.
Article 2: Contribution Clause
Emotional support and contributions to joint streaming services, dog grooming expenses, and Registered Retirement Savings Plans (RRSPs) shall be shared fairly. “I forgot” is not a valid excuse.
Article 3: Discretionary Spending Disclaimer
You may buy expensive craft beer or limited-edition sneakers, but don’t question your partner’s decision to max out their TFSA instead of splurging on sushi.
Article 4: Cognitive Compatibility Clause
All arguments over mortgages, meal prepping, or who left the toaster plugged in must be resolved by a Certified Financial Planner or a wise aunt with a budgeting spreadsheet.
Article 5: Retirement Readiness Pact
All romantic engagements must include at least one conversation about pensions, desired retirement age, and whether one can truly “find themselves” in Bali while maxing out their RRSPs.
Article 6: Grounds for Immediate Unmatch
- Thinks CPP is a cryptocurrency.
- Still believes they’ll “just win the lottery.”
- Uses “budgeting” as a threat, not a practice.
Final Clause: Review and Renegotiation
This agreement shall be reviewed every five years, or immediately after moving in, opening a joint account, or attending three or more family functions in matching sweaters.
Signed in good faith, with compound interest,
The Pension Potential™ Legal and Love Department
Other Love Related Articles
- Love is Forgiving the Unforgivable (Reader Participation)
This article playfully dissects the phrase “Love is forgiving the unforgivable” and applies it to financial wisdom, creating witty financial maxims like *“Saving is NOT spending the unspendable” and *“Investing is believing the unbelievable.” - Loveless Sexless Marriages and Money
Money can ruin all relationships, if it is mismanaged, creating loveless sexless marriages, where there was once love and joy. Talk with each other about your money issues, don’t make it a wedge to drive you apart. - Marriage Preparation
A discussion of the financial topics covered in a Marriage Preparation course that is offered for soon to be newlyweds. Good start, but missing a few things. #Money #Marraige #Spending
My friend, Laurie, told me this week I should write something that includes advice for the lovelorn. According to Merriam Webster, the definition of lovelorn is bereft of love or of a lover, of which I wish to state right up front, I am neither. But just to be sure, I looked up bereft … an adj. meaning deprived or robbed of the possession or use of something —usually used with of. I’m not sure why she thinks I would qualify to expound positively, negatively or otherwise on love or lorn, me being single and all … but she had me in a position on her massage table where I was so relaxed and in a state of complete zen that I wasn’t likely to argue with her about anything. My earlier comment that a man should woo a woman for a lifetime must have touched her soul. And I meant it … even if he has been sleeping next to her for 50 years in ratty old flannel pajamas. Before I get into trouble, here, I also believe a woman has her own longterm wooing to do … both have to commit from the get-go to making and stoking fire. In this case, it IS about the little things.
Unfortunately, my memories of my teachers, (evil old hags that some of them were, and I am being very nice when I ONLY say that they were evil old hags!), leaves me very reluctant to find a teacher of my own, retirement plan or not!
There is a fear factor there that hides in the shadow of the little boy abused by the power trips they had! It is hard to get past that!
I can understand that, Denis. I used to be a bit afraid of principals, even as an adult, until one of my in laws became one: then I just lost all respect for (and fear of) them!
We’ve been saying to a younger male relative that he should marry a teacher. Somehow he keeps thinking other factors are more important, like whether she’s nice, good with kids, enjoys travel, looks good, and so on. Sheesh. You just can’t help some people. : )