For my readers out there, who are searching for Mister or Ms. Right, and are not having much luck, here is something to add to your criteria in your search: Is your prospective spouse set up for Retirement? Do they have Pension Potential?
I borrowed this from a female classmate from my “so you want to retire” course a while ago. She correctly pointed out that a great deal of stuff that would benefit her would happen if she were married (or bad things will happen if she gets divorced, and if you are separated, that’s a confusing situation ( for pensions, at least)), if you work for the government.
One thing that we Civil Servants do have in our favour is a very nice pension. If you are looking at those dating sites, find a Teacher or a Civil Servant, as they should have the best financial attributes for Retirement. Finding a potential spouse that has a pension is becoming a lot harder. Very few private firms offer pensions. Maybe I have stumbled upon a new Match Making website, “Pension Potential.”
Pension Potential Topics
Here are some other interesting financial topics to discuss with a future spousal candidate:
- How much discretionary debt do they hold? If they have $12,200 worth on their MasterCard and still have $40,000 in student loans to pay back, do you want to help them do that? If you marry them, that is on the table.
- Do they ever plan on moving out of their parents’ basement? This could mean they are just cheap and don’t want to spend money, or maybe they like home cooking? Either way, do you also want to be your future spouse’s pseudo-parent?
- Do they constantly pay for everything on dates? Do you wonder why? Are they cheap? Are you cheap? Something to think about as well.
Why am I handing out love life advice? In my years, I have seen more “relationships” destroyed by money issues (and money lifestyle misalignment). I hoped I might help the young folks with a few pointed remarks.
My friend, Laurie, told me this week I should write something that includes advice for the lovelorn. According to Merriam Webster, the definition of lovelorn is bereft of love or of a lover, of which I wish to state right up front, I am neither. But just to be sure, I looked up bereft … an adj. meaning deprived or robbed of the possession or use of something —usually used with of. I’m not sure why she thinks I would qualify to expound positively, negatively or otherwise on love or lorn, me being single and all … but she had me in a position on her massage table where I was so relaxed and in a state of complete zen that I wasn’t likely to argue with her about anything. My earlier comment that a man should woo a woman for a lifetime must have touched her soul. And I meant it … even if he has been sleeping next to her for 50 years in ratty old flannel pajamas. Before I get into trouble, here, I also believe a woman has her own longterm wooing to do … both have to commit from the get-go to making and stoking fire. In this case, it IS about the little things.
Unfortunately, my memories of my teachers, (evil old hags that some of them were, and I am being very nice when I ONLY say that they were evil old hags!), leaves me very reluctant to find a teacher of my own, retirement plan or not!
There is a fear factor there that hides in the shadow of the little boy abused by the power trips they had! It is hard to get past that!
I can understand that, Denis. I used to be a bit afraid of principals, even as an adult, until one of my in laws became one: then I just lost all respect for (and fear of) them!
We’ve been saying to a younger male relative that he should marry a teacher. Somehow he keeps thinking other factors are more important, like whether she’s nice, good with kids, enjoys travel, looks good, and so on. Sheesh. You just can’t help some people. : )