Was reading an article on another finance site and they were talking about the most important features of a credit card. They espoused the importance of such factors as the interest rate when you don’t pay it back, and other odd things that had me kind of confused, since that is certainly not the most important parts of a credit card for me, so allow me to meander through my list of top features I look for in a Credit Card.
- Does it have a flashy logo on it somewhere, so when I use it, I don’t look like some loser. I really do care what the 17 year old cashier at my local grocery store thinks about whether my credit card looks “hot” or not.
- Does the company sell my personal information to telemarketers and people who knock on my door? If not, I am not interested, I love those calls about 6:45 PM when I think it’s time to eat my dinner with my family, but in fact it is time to discuss whether I should be changing my Natural Gas provider. This is an added important feature I look for in a Credit Card.
- What kind of collection agency does this Credit Card use? Is this an “old school” collection agency who is going to threaten to break my knee caps if I don’t pay my bill, or are they going to go “high tech” and attempt to garnish my wages at the source? Really important to know this about the people who are going to charge you about 19% interest a month, because you really have no chance to pay this back at those rates.
- How long are the waits when I call to report my card stolen or misused? If I get to talk to someone right away, I might get flustered or forget important details about where my credit card was lost or stolen, but if I have a 20 to 60 minute period on hold, I have plenty of time to collect my thoughts to be more helpful to the person at the other end of the line.
- When I talk to someone on the phone are they on the same continent as me? If they are, what’s the point? I enjoy talking to people of other cultures, why would I want to talk to someone who has lived the same life experiences as me, when I am calling to complain about how the charges from “Big Al’s Porno Shop” are not mine? Explaining what “Big Al’s Porno Shop” is, allows me to embiggen the customer representatives life, as well as my own.
- How much money has this credit card made for the bank or monetary institution it is associated with? I want people who make LOTS of money off other folks to put me into debt, as well! You don’t want to go with a bunch of amateurs in this area, go with the pros!
- Is there an annual fee? I really like to pay as much as I can for the priviledge to buy things using a piece of plastic. I think that is a great status symbol, and I brag to my friends just how much I pay in fees yearly.
As you can see, I have some very different views on how to choose your credit card. My final suggestion is just don’t get one! If you really want to be unique in this world, don’t get a credit card, and see how pissed off the world gets that you don’t have one. Yes, your life will be awkward, but think how much you are annoying the rest of the world as well.
Yes, it’s a good day for sarcasm, isn’t it?